i remember making a strange request to my mom: that she wake me up everytime she leaves for work. my mom was, and still is a working single mother. so i made that request of her during the summer vacations when us kids would wake up at noon instead of the wee hours of the morning for school. you see, i hate waking up to an empty room, and i can't seem to get past this fear of not having a “last” moment or kiss with your loved one. call me morbid but i also had a sickening realization that a number of things can go wrong once one leaves the house. so i hold on to the hope that saying “ingat” would be enough to keep her safe throughout the day. these days, i do this through text messaging. ahh, the powers of sms.
a couple of days ago, i also made the same request to my husband.
we found out last week that he will be going to the u.s. for two weeks for work. of course, i have also been on work-related trips for two weeks or more, but this is the first trip for any of us since our wedding last january. and its different when you're the one left behind. being the one with the trip, one can get distracted with the excitement and awe of being somewhere new and different. during my trips, i almost always get homesick during my 3rd or 4th day. but the one left behind has to deal with your normal everyday routine without the other one – and as it is mundane day to day activities, everything seems to remind you of your partner. gah, all of this is making me mushy.
but just think, i'm still lucky. its only 2 weeks, while others have to go by with months or even years. i just hope that my “ingat” would keep him safe throughout his trip. and i have to refrain from thinking dark, morbid thoughts.