Just a few realizations from the past few days (which are in bullet points as i type them as they come to me. So please bear with me as some may be incoherent and most might not make sense at all):
– the minute you get married, the “i” cease to exist and is in turn replaced by “our.” this includes most decisions, especially life-changing ones
– my dreams take the backseat to our dreams
– these are perhaps the main reasons why it is better to enter into a relationship as a “whole” person, and not go into one to “complete” yourself
Not to worry, all is well in the homefront, its just conversations with friends let me see these things. I’m not saying that what i want as an individual do not matter anymore because i’m part of a couple. Its just that somewhere along the way, of our 2 years marriage and almost 7 years relationship, i’ve decided that its more important for both of us and our relationship to “grow.” that instead of considering me myself and i in every decision, i have to consider us. That my husband has a say in my life and i have a say in his.
Perhaps a testament to how i’ve matured in this relationship is a few years ago, if hubby asked me to give up my job for my family, it would’ve resulted into a big fight about my career and my money. This year, the same question resulted into quiet consideration – of our money, our future and our family. Yes i loved having my own career and of course my own money, but this time, i’m choosing something much more important for me, for us. Perhaps my decision would’ve been different if we were able to get pregnant in the past 2 years. But we didn’t. So now i choose to take a break and give our little family a chance.
Hopefully, some guys also realize that our lives do not stop with loving our jobs and building a career for ourselves. Most of the time we have to stop and think that we may be losing the persons we are working hard for. Consider your optiions. And please stop with my decisions, my want, my needs.
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